I never work out, don’t go on diets and I am in great shape. I am the living proof that being healthy is not connected what we do but to the way we feel.
“My next patient has just canceled,” my doctor said when one day I dropped my his office to pick up some medicine for my mother. “I can see you haven't been here for a long time. If you like, I will be happy to give you a health check.”
“That’s very nice of you,” I said. “I’m curious to hear your conclusion.”
During the next 20 minutes, the doctor checked my vision, hearing, weight before he tested me with a monitor that could tell him more about my physical condition. Afterwards, he send me a puzzled look.
“Is something wrong?” I asked.
“I don’t know,” he said. “I think there might be something wrong with my monitor. Luckily I have another one.”
A little later he once again finished his examination, but still looked puzzled.
“No,” he said. “There was nothing wrong with the monitor.”
“Do I need to worry?” I asked.
“It’s a little strange,” he said while frowning, “but you are not a normal middle-aged man.”
“In what way?”
“Let me say it like this: The monitor tells me that you are in the condition of a 25-year athlete ready to go to the Olympics.”
“Ok,” I said, “but that doesn’t sound like bad news.”
“Obviously not,” he said. “I would be very interested in hearing your recipe for being this healthy. Several of my middle-aged clients could do with some health-tips. Are you a triathlete?”
“No,” I said. “I never do workout.”
“No workout?” he said looking doubtful. “Why not?”
“In my opinion workout is unhealthy,” I said.
For a few seconds, he stared at me in disbelief.
“Surely you can’t be serious?” he finally said.
“Workout is something most people do out of fear of not being in shape,” I said. “Moving your body out of fear is in my oppinion not healthy.”
“I see…,” he said opening a small book in front of him while taking a few notes with his pen. “So how do you keep in shape?”
“I have to admit that I never think about keeping in shape,” I said.
“But you surely must be using your body,” he said while taking a closer look at me. “You don’t get muscles like these if you never use them.”
“I only move my body if it feels either enjoyable or if it has a purpose,” I said. “If I have to go somewhere I take my bike. I also love being in the forest and when I am there I sometimes go walking for hours. Walking alone makes my mind very clear. I also like swimming in the wintertime, running without shoes in nature or sometimes I get a strong urge to stand on my hands. The sensation of being turned upside down makes me feel good.”
“But couldn’t that be considered workout?”
“Not the way I see it,” I said. “Workout is something you do with the intention of staying in shape. Perhaps you go to a fitness center or you drive your car to a forest and run aimlessly around because you want to stay fit. Workout has to be over and done with quickly and efficiently. If it was possible most people would probably prefer to send their body to some kind of clinic doing workout while they themselves were sitting at home eating cake. Moving your body with the only purpose of getting in shape is like telling your body that it has no purpose. Clearly the body will not like this. If I did things like that I am convinced that my body would counter react and become ill and unhealthy.”
“So if you don’t do any workout,” my doctor said. “What do you call the physical activities that keep you healthy?”
“If I would have to put a word on it I would call them ‘work-in’.”
“Work-in?” he said looking mystified. “Is that the opposite of workout?”
“Not the opposite, but it is movement without the intention of keeping yourself in shape,” I said. “Work-in is what you do when using your body without having to schedule it. Doing work-in instead of workout has many benefits.”
“What kind of benefits?” he said.
“First of all it saves you a lot of time going to a gym and it is free of charge,” I said. “You just use your body within the boundaries of your life. Work-in can also be done while you wash the dishes, play with your kids, clean your car, work in the garden or help a friend moving. One of the best ways to do work-in is during lovemaking.”
“Hmm …,” he said considering this while writing the word ‘work-in’ in his notebook. “Where did you get the idea to develop work-in?”
“I never got the idea for work-in,” I said. “I just don’t see the point in workout. Most animals are doing what I do and they are not as overweight and unhealthy as humans. If you observe a cat, you will see that is usually in great shape. Cats only move if they have to, if they are hungry or if they are playing. In reality, a healthy cat needs only to stretch its body in order to stay in shape. I do the same.”
“I can see what you mean …,” he said thinking a little about it. “but how do I help my patients in the process of implementing ‘work-in’ in their lives?”
“You don’t ‘implement’ work-in,” I said. “You just make sure that you are using your body in the life that you already have. Instead of running no-where you start running somewhere. If you like I can make you a list of healthy lovemaking positions that you can show your patients. These positions will not only create an intense sexual experience but also make it unnecessary to waste time and money on workout.”
“I don’t think my patients would appreciate this,” my doctor said, “but what about your hearing and your vision? Both are far better than average for someone your age. Is that also because you do work-in?”
“My hearing and vision stay healthy when I remember that my senses need to be kept happy,” I said. “I believe that we all have to see, smell, touch, hear or taste something beautiful every day — otherwise the senses will close down. If possible I go to the forest or the ocean every day. I also look at the sky — especially when the stars are out. I believe that leaning your head backward gazing at the sky is not only healthy for your eyes, but also for your back.”
“I see …,” my doctor said while taking notes. “That sounds very unconventional. But what about relaxation? Your resting pulse is 54 which is very low. I am sure you must be spending a lot of time doing mindfulness.”
“I never spend time being mindful,” I said. “Having to allocate time to be mindful sounds very stressful, but what does it, in reality, mean to be mindful?”
“As far as I know it means to have a meditative approach to life.” He said. “Do you meditate?”
“I have tried meditation a few times,” I said. “but it makes me stressful and I start thinking about all the things I could do instead of being inactive.”
“Stressful?!”
“Yes,” I said. “Having to sit in a certain position while trying not to think makes me restless. I find peace when I watch a good film, hang out with the people I love, stay in nature or when I smoke.”
“Smoke?!” he exclaimed looking terrified. “Are you trying to tell me that you are a smoker?”
“Yes,” I said, “But naturally I only smoke in a healthy way.”
“Smoking is very unhealthy — no matter how you smoke,” he said and send me an ironic smile. “Next you are probably going to tell me that you smoke like a cat?”
“Exactly!” I said. “There is no other healthy way to smoke.”
With his pen, my doctor wrote the word ‘cat’ before looking at me in bewilderment.
“Have you ever seen a cat smoke?” I asked.
“Of course not,” my doctor said.
“Nobody sees me smoke either,” I said. “Smoking is a ritual that I do when I am alone and want to create a special and peaceful moment for myself. I wouldn’t be as good at relaxing if I didn’t smoke.”
“It all sounds ludicrous,” my doctor said scratching his forehead, “and not something a doctor can support his patients in doing, but what about food? Surely you must be on some kind of special diet?”
“Most people follow a diet out of fear of not being healthy,” I said. “This is why I always eat exactly what I feel like eating. At least twice a week I eat fast-food — usually with fries and lots of mayo. Every day I also eat lots of sweets.”
“Ok,” my doctor said and threw down his pen. “I don’t think your recipe for a healthy life will work for my patients. Are you trying to tell me that you stay healthy by not doing exercise while being a smoker who eats unhealthy food?”
“I just have my own concept of what it means to be unhealthy,” I said. “The most important thing is not to worry about what I eat. In our culture, we are all being bombarded with books and articles about healthy food. At the same time, more and more people have problems with weight and health. What does that tell you?”
“It tells me that we are not reading enough,” he said.
“In my view, they are reading too much,” I said. “I think a lot of people are confused and afraid that they are not eating the right thing in the right way. I believe that it is unhealthier eating so-called healthy food out of fear than feeling good about eating so-called unhealthy food.”
“I am not sure I can agree with you on that,” my doctor said.
“I know,” I said. “If you would agree you would not be able to continue giving your patients the usual doctors advice. You would be out of work. In reality, health is not connected to your behavior, but to your attitude. We just don’t respect that in society because you cannot give health advice on attitude.”
Pretending not to hear what I said my doctor went on to address another topic: “What about alcohol?” he asked. “I am sure you also drink whatever you like?”
“Yes,” I said. “I drink whatever I like.”
“How much alcohol would you say that you drink in a week.”
“Nothing,” I said.
“Nothing?” he asked. “You just told me that you drink whatever you like.”
“Yes,” I said, “but I don’t like alcohol. If I did I would naturally drink it, but I haven’t had alcohol for at last 20 years.”
“I understand,” my doctor said picking up his pen before writing ‘minus alcohol’. “Alcohol is clearly not healthy.”
“I don’t think you are right about that,” I said. “You just need to drink it with the right kind of motive, but I don’t know much about that. For many years I have been a soberholic.”
“Soberholic?” he said while writing the word down. “What does that mean?”
“It means that I am addicted to soberness,” I said. “It makes me high not being under the influence of anything. I never take any drugs or medicine either. When I was younger I would sometimes get drunk before making love to a woman. Today I see lovemaking as the ultimate drug. Mixing lovemaking with any other drug would in my view pollute the whole experience.”
“Ok,” my doctor said looking at his clock before looking back at his notes. “My next patient will arrive soon. So I just want to summon up what we talked about: You have been telling me that your recipe for a healthy life is never to do anything out of fear of not being healthy.”
“Exactly!” I said. “That is the best advice I can give.”
“I don’t know if I can suggest my patient do the same,” he said. “They would surely think that I had lost my mind. Probably they would end up becoming unhealthier than they already are.”
“That’s because they have not been working enough with their ability to handle freedom,” I said. “You have to take into consideration that I have spent the last 20 years exercising my ability to handle freedom.”
“So you think handling freedom is something you have to learn?” my doctor asked.
“Yes,” I said. “Most people are tied up by the clock, a job, mortgages, pets, a relationship, fear of being unpopular and thousands of other things. If they would suddenly have the freedom to do whatever they wanted they would probably become depressed or insane. It has taken me many years of hard work to learn how to live a life where I have the freedom to do almost anything I want. I don’t have a boss, I don’t have employees and I rarely follow the rules of values other people define. When I get up in the morning I can basically do exactly what I want, but learning to live like that is not easy.”
“Interesting …,” my doctor said while writing the word ‘freedom’ in his notebook. “What did it take to get the kind of freedom that you have today?”
“First of all I had to make many very painful and difficult decisions,” I said. “If you want to be free you have to be able to ignore what other people tell you to do. Because I have been going against our societies cultural norms I have been brought to the edge of insanity. I have never taken the easy route through life and because of this I often had to put up with being publicly exposed as a nutcase.”
“Ok,” my doctor said ignoring that his phone was ringing. “So in order to become healthy like you, you need to be brave enough to follow your own path through life?”
“Yes,” I said. “But I think the most important part of being healthy is connected to your relationships to other people.”
“Relationships?” he asked while scribbling with his pen. “In what way?”
“Every person contains energy and a drive. Their heart and brain are usually full of stuff that you collect if you connect to them. My relations are like batteries. They nourish, energize and motivate me. If I choose to build the right kind of relationships, they alone are capable of building me up to become both strong and healthy. I have a group of friends and lovers that creates my emotional foundation. These are people I can lean on, but besides them, I also have my muses.”
“Muses!” he exclaimed. “What do you mean by muses?”
“I am talking about inspiring and attractive women.”
“Aha!” He said smiling: “Are you now going to tell me that attractive women are making you healthy?”
“Yes,” I said. “My muses are women that I admire and that I am reaching for because I want them to be around me. Through their presence, I become motivated to grow new aspects of my personality and new recourses. While doing so they rejuvenate me.”
“Ok,” the doctor said looking puzzled. “Can you give me an example of how that works?”
“I love being in the water,” I said, “But as a child, I never learned to swim crawl. A few years back I was in a public swim bath and decided that I wanted to learn how to swim crawl. The lifeguard was a highly attractive woman who sends me a warm smile when she saw how I was struggling. Out of pity, she gave me a few tips. While I was practicing she kept an eye on me. Having such a woman’s attention gave me an extreme boost. Before I left I made her tell me on what days she was working. During the next weeks, I practiced swimming while she was at work. Motivated by her attention it only took four weeks before I could swim at the same speed as most of the guys in the fast lane. Attraction is in my view the strongest force in life and by using it in the right way it can help you stay healthy. This is also why I consider most marriages and relationships to be very unhealthy.”
There was a knock on the door and when the doctor said ‘yes’ his secretary opened the door.
“Your next appointment is waiting,” she said.
“I will be right there!” he responded.
“Don’t you think that your secretary has muse potential?” I said when the secretary had closed the door.
“In what way?”
“It is hard to explain,” I said. “But when I arrived something about the way she looked at me made me feel special. Surely you must have noticed that.”
“I am a married man,” the doctor said. “So I never think about things like that, but before you go. Tell me more about why you think relationships are unhealthy.”
“Because they tend to make people immune to attraction. Most relationships have the same effect as castration. If you castrate a cat it usually becomes fat and lazy. The same thing happens in relationships. Having a strong sex drive, being attracted and feeling free is important if you want to stay healthy. Remember to tell your patients that.”
“The authorities would close me down if I started saying things like that to my patients,” he said. “But are you telling me that it makes you healthy having sex with as many different women as possible?”
“No,” I said. “I don’t think sex is healthy, but making love is healthy. While practicing swimming I sensed it as I was making love with the lifeguard. Clearly, she could sense that the attention she gave me was healthy and therefore she also enjoyed giving it to me. If she had sensed that I wanted to get laid I am sure she would have been redrawn. Her sensitivity made her an exceptional muse.”
“So you didn’t consider inviting the lifeguard out for a date?”
“No,” I said.
“Why not?” he asked. “You said that you found her attractive.”
“In our culture, we only relate to one kind of attraction between a man and a woman,” I said. “In reality, there are endless ways of being attracted. When the lifeguard gave me her attention I felt free. What I felt with her had nothing to do with being in a relationship or being physical, but still she was boosting my health.”
“Alright!” My doctor concluded. “It all sounds very interesting, but I don’t think any of the things you are telling me would work for my patients. Are there anything else you can say about the way you stay in shape? Perhaps something a little more conventional or down to earth?”
“There are thousands of other aspects connected to being healthy,” I said. “One of the most important ones is honesty.”
“Honesty?!” He exclaimed. “I don’t see how honesty and health can be connected.”
“I believe that it is unhealthy being stuck in a relationship, a job, a family or other groups where there is no room for honesty,” I said. “When that has happened to me my body reacts negatively and tells me to reclaim my freedom. Being around people with whom I can not be honest sometimes makes me put on weight. Obesity is in many cases just a symptom of lack of room for honesty.”
“But why do you think you put on weight when not being able, to be honest.”
“I guess my body is just trying to compensate by wrapping me in a protective layer of fat. In my view being in social connections with no room for honesty is the number one killer in our culture.”
“Ok …,” he said taking notes.
“And then there is of course also the aspect of fear …,” I continued.
“Fear?”
“As I said the fear of not being healthy is very unhealthy. On top of that, there is the fear of confronting difficult emotions like worry, jealousy, anger, and shame. Another cause of …”
“Ok!” my doctor interrupted while getting up from his chair. “I don’t think I can follow this. What I need is just one simple piece of advice — something I can use for my patients. You see I have a huge group of middle-aged men who are overweight and have much too high blood pressure. What do I do to help them become healthier?”
“Hmm…,” I said thinking about it while we approached his door. “They are probably stuck in lives that gives them very little room for freedom and ‘work-in’. Instead, they have to settle for workout that usually only makes things worse. Have you considered letting your secretary monitor their weight and blood pressure?”
“I don’t see why that should help?”
“If I knew that an attractive woman like her would attend to me on a regular basis it would no doubt improve my health,” I said. “If her attention cannot heal your male patients I don’t think anything can.”
For a few seconds my doctor looked at me in disbelief before finally speaking: “You might be right that she could motivate them …,” he said thinking a little more about it, “but using a cheap trick like that is in my view unethical.”
“Why is it unethical?”
“I don’t think a doctor should prescribe attraction as medicine.”
“But attraction is the perfect medicine!” I said. “It has no side effects, its free of charge and it creates plenty of happiness and good energy.”
“I am sure that the wives of my male patients would not agree about that,” my doctor said.
“You are probably right …,” I said. “Sometimes I forget how marriages works. Most people have so much fear of being abandoned that they prefer being with a person who is fat, lazy and castrated instead of free, happy and healthy.”