Negative Thinking

A Study of Murphy Law for Motorists

Published:  2021 - Pages: 100 

Genres: Satire, philosophy, memoir, technology.

“Finding the power of negative

thinking by looking through

the eyes of the motorist.”

How the car became man’s best friend
We say that a dog is man’s best friend, but surely this is not true. No one would ever consider bringing their dog along on a first date and no one would be drooling in admiration when seeing a smart new dog on the street. The only thing that truly deserves the title as man’s best friend is naturally his car. However, when you start getting to know the car, you will understand that the friendship is not mutual. In reality, the car has managed to put humanity under some kind of spell that makes us live in a blissful illusion, believing that a friendly bond is there, but in fact, the car is causing us nothing but pain and suffering. Around 1.2 million people die in road accidents each year, which makes an average of 3,300 deaths per day. Annually, an estimated 50 million people are injured or disabled by cars and more than a billion animals are killed (not counting insects). Owning a car is hugely expensive and you are sure to be financially ruined when paying for repairs, insurance, servicing, driving lessons, and fines, all while being victimized by exponentially growing gasoline prices.

The world’s first car was patented in 1885 by Karl Benz. Since then, the car has seized every possible opportunity to worsen our lives on this planet. When the first car came into the full view of the public eye, most people agreed that this was a technological wonder. Finally, humans were able to move quickly, cheaply, and easily around the beautiful countryside. Today, however, it has become clear that we have had to sacrifice this beautiful countryside to give way for parking lots, highways, petrol stations, car cemeteries, drive-through chains, car dealers, etc. The very few parts of nature that have not yet been influenced by cars will almost certainly be destroyed in the near future by exhaust fumes.
If we let go of our emotional bond and fascination with the car we will see that a car in reality, only has two functions:


1. A car can get you to places where you would never waste your time going if you did not have a car.
2. A car can get you away from your current location and, in the process, show you that you should never have left in the first place.

“Don’t ask what your car can do for you,

but ask what you can do for your car.”

Why walking is faster than driving
If you have a scientific mind and need a clear mathematical explanation showing the absurdity of humanity’s obsession with cars, you can do the following simple calculation: Take the time that you spent, throughout the year, making money to pay all the expenses that spring from owning a car. Add that to the money you could have made if you hadn’t spent time driving and worrying about someone stealing or damaging your car. Finally, calculate the number of miles that you would need to be transported every year (if you did not have a car). Give yourself a good pay per hour for walking. You will now — without a shadow of doubt — see that it is much cheaper, healthier, and less dangerous to walk.