I have never been able to relate to our culture's relationship with nudity and sex. It seems absurd that you can go to a masseur in order to get a full-body massage, yet there are areas of the body the masseur does not dare touch. Touching intimate areas of the body with the right kind of intentions can be life-changing - not only for the person being touched but also for the person touching. Learning how to handle your intentions while being intimate is a science that we as a culture have difficulties handling.
Culturally, we are not relaxed and free when it comes to intimacy. If you touch a person's sexual organs and the person enjoys it, we, therefore, define what is happening as sex, but this does not necessarily have to be the case. Touching areas of the body that we, as a culture, have tabooed, can be both soothing, therapeutic and healing. Not only does an intimate touch create space for relaxation – it can also generate a flow throughout the body that releases stress, impotence, confusion, frustration and finally it can be the spark that reignites a sexual libido that the person you are touching might have lost.
Real intimacy as therapy
Exploring intimacy is not my full-time profession, but years back I realized that I could help many people who had no success with conventional therapy. By opening a physical and emotional space with some of the people visiting me I discovered that this space could help them overcome many problems. Some of my guests have had severe anxieties and sexual traumas and have regained trust in intimacy while becoming much stronger, braver and free. Since I started exploring intimacy I have helped couples reignite their attraction, helped rape victims regain trust in sex and have also had success in treating people who had immense problems with jealousy.
When opening up an intimate space there is no method. Every person has to be treated differently. With some, I have to be very structured and tell them exactly what we are going to do. With others, I can work intuitively and sense how to approach them without having to put the process into words beforehand. Sometimes I am there as a masseur and with others, conversation and nearness are more important. On request, I have sometimes also worked with a female partner who can both give and receive intimate treatments.
In several of my books, I am exploring the aspect of healing a person or a couple through an intimate touch. Since I started I had thousands of unusual intimate meetings with people and I still learn something new every time.