DICTIONARY OF THE UNMENTIONALBE
In this book Graff is defining about a 1000 new terms or words - all of them dealing with conditions that people either have a hard time talking openly about or perhaps are not conscious about. The book is in Danish, but on this page you will find a few translated samples from the book.
Words connected to sex, love and personal connections.
Surprise partner A stalker with whom you enter a relationship without your own active consent.
Shadow relationship Affectionate feelings for a range of non-existing qualities in another person. In many cultures, this kind of relationship goes under the term: Marriage.
Party polygamist Mental state in which a monogamous person is capable of being in an open relationship while being drunk or while partying.
Step-lover or lover in law A rare phrase defining the relationship you have with your lover’s other lovers.
Pussy impediment Material object acquired for the sake of showing the world that you are not as sexually attractive as you actually are.
Luddite lover A lover who refuses to communicate be the use of social media.
Success victim Someone who achieves goals so effortlessly that life becomes dull and meaningless.
Immaturity mute A person who is rendered speechless in sheer bafflement at the immaturity of the people around him or her.
Superiority complex Validated fear of being better than others.
Rape immune Applies to someone whose charisma is strong enough to instigate performance anxiety in any wanna-be rapist.
Sobriety addict Person addicted to not being under the influence of alcohol.
Words connected to computers and technology
Rigor morphing Overall rigidity in a society bent on adapting to the computer’s limitations rather than to those of human beings.
Formatting frustrate Person who spends more time on formatting a document or a website than writing it.
Futz To work hard on a computer without accomplishing anything; the term is derived from the name of the God Sisyfutz. Futzophobia Fear of not wasting time while being busy doing nothing. Futzose Ailment by which the afflicted dares not admit how much time he or she wastes in front of the computer. Futz syndrome When an entire enterprise has ground to a halt by waiting for a piece of paper to exit a printer. Futz deadlock Deadlock caused by wasted time, e.g. when the piece of paper everyone is waiting for is the one describing how to fix the printer.
Info rabies Internet-based affliction causing the patient to spend most of his or her life finding snuff, child pornography and/or Nazi propaganda on the internet.
Info stress Nervous condition provoked by the use of user-hostile computer programs.
Keybophobia Fear of touching keyboards.
Keybophobiophobia Fear of developing keybophobia.
Computer users keybophobia block Inability to write about the fear of developing keybophobia on one's computer.
Manual megalomania Person who stuffs his or her shelves with manuals for computer software which he or she does not possess.
Manual autistic Someone who is capable of understanding computer software by reading the manuals.
Nerdage Computer repulsion caused by excessive loitering among computer nerds.
Resetism The belief that everything can be repaired by turning it off and turning it back on again.
Sciencefictionary Term used to describe any advanced technological product which can do absolutely nothing.
Supportophile Person who will only engage in conversations with other people if there is an outlook that the conversation will be solving a technical problem.
Technology-free dementia Mental state of being unable to do anything at all without a computer.
Vaporosis Obsessive need to complicate life by using useless software.
Versioning positivism Absent reality perception causing the afflicted to maintain that computers over time will become increasingly more and more user-friendly.
Wordparkinson Dementia causing chronical inability to hit the right keys on your keyboard. Symptoms: The backspace key is worn down before all the other keys.
Anti-tinnitus Hearing impediment which causes the afflicted not to be able to hear the noise from a computer’s cooling fan.
Delete dilemma Certainty that the next thing you delete from your computer is the next thing you will need.
Digital deadlock Mental conflict of not being able to purchase information technology because something cheaper, faster and better will surely be launched next month.
Package boasting Behavioral pattern of stacking empty computer boxes by the front door for prestige considerations.
Absence fetishism Computer induced sexual behavior that makes it impossible for the patient to engage in sexual activities with a person who is within visible range.